Sunday, October 10, 2004

in my earnesty to hold on to every relationship tat i haf,wat i didnt realise was that i'm the one whu is tearin it into shreds..in my perfectionist ways to hold on to everythin dats dear,to tresure every single moment of my life wif those tat i loved as friends,families etc..all the more i am ruining the moments we haf 2gether..wats worse is dat i needed someone to type tat out clearly for mi to see that in the centre of all my destructions in life..the centre is mi all along..All i had ever wanted was to hold on to the simple pleasure of being together(whether i am tokin,listenin,or juz being there)..to relise the moments tats rollin wif us..n disappearin..only to end up Destroyin them to pieces...though it made mi go 'huh?' it also dawned on mi the truth..tat ppl are going away from mi not coz they haf to..rather maybe its coz they want to..get away from mi tat is..i wrote tat i wanted everyone to go away,i wanted myself to go away..heck,i dun haf to write it to know that ppl R in fact walkin away from mi whether i like it or not..i'm juz a small amoeba in the huge sea..a plankton in the oceans of ppl's lives..be it they walked away from mi alive or not..its not the fact that i lose them..its the fact they gained from losin mi..geddit?..i do.so now i guessed if ppl do walk away from mi or i lose them to death or somethin..mayb i shud look on the bright side that they gained from losing someone lke mi in their lives..n b hapi wif it. So*cheer up*ppl whoeva wanna leave,do so at their own free will,as long as ur happi,i'll b happi..john donne said 'no man is an island' i don't mind being an isle if thats wat it takes to make ppl happy


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Sunday, October 10, 2004

12th October 1985