Sunday, October 10, 2004

To my 2 dears in my life(girls i mean..)

its not tat i'm not openin up to u coz i dont want to,its coz i cant seem to these days for some reasons..i felt tis way very long already,before i even knew u noe whu. maybe its coz we hardly meet up anymore thats y i felt tis 'psychological' distance that made mi feel i shud kept stuff to myself more than tok it out wif u 2..but tat doesnt mean i still dun regard u the same way as i always do..abt today,sorry tat i didnt tok much but after 4 hrs(and every hr wakin up for that 4hrs)i muz admit i wasnt in the mood to chat ard n smile ar...

i felt the distance growin way back earlier tis yr i muzz admit,when both of u went on attachments then i got no one to go out wif..thought u 2 were like distancin urself from mi, so i had no choice but to accept wat i tot was true mah..*upset*its not like i dunno the distance thats growin,raihan even commented abt it but i thought its juz coz all of us are busy, thats y.

val,everytime i read ur blog, i felt v.depressed but i dunno how to reach out coz u seemed to b doin fine see, but i know ur not. ur juz like 'hanging in there' wif ur poly friends and i know they made u strong till now,esp when i cant seem to b around like u 2 are thinkin..hopeless friend,mi yar i know la. esp when u blogged tat ur sick(and not juz once or twice tat u've fallen sick) i really duno y, and if u dnno, i am worried abt ur health girl, n not juz mi for the record.ppl ard u are worried too,even melvine hha when i told him u fell sick..

as for u,yun,i do ask val abt u times n again when i meet up wif her which is more often that i meet up wif u. tat doesnt mean i'm distancin myself from u ger..i still see u the same way as i see val, and sees both of u the same way i did in sec. sch till now the pt when u 2 are tinkin i'm not openin up to u 2 anymore..

i'm sori u all tot i'm distancin myself away n not opening up, i didnt mean it ever that way,never even thought tat way...yar,i cant b sad for everytin tats bad,coz i noe wateva is or turning bad stemmed from one thing and one person, thats me.-->responsible for everythin thats turnin bad,i noe...incl. our friendship.

after written for so long,maybe u 2 will tink its juz excuses but wat thing is always clear-u 2 are still my 2dears no matter wat u all tink of me...sorry.


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Sunday, October 10, 2004

12th October 1985