Sunday, February 27, 2005

This morning, i asked my religious teacher y does some muslims chose to be an atheist n 'murtad'(out of religion) themselves...she told mi that in malaysia, there is actually a formal process of writing n signing a document to state ur officially out of religion...i asked her, where will they be buried when they die then...she replied 'not in the muslim cemetery for sure'..n she added "'its very sad so we must take precautions not to 'murtad' ourselves..even if we kid around or said it out of a script, its still considered 'murtad' "..

Anyway,i respect his decision n he dun understand mine..he sees religions as big restrictions in a life that is meant to be lived n to be enjoyed to the fullest..he sees religions as additions of more unnecessary rules than the rules of the universe/singapore that already exists..though i pleaded with him to see Beyond the rules n that the religion serves more for us to lead the 'right' path n guide us throughout our lives, he still didnt comprehend..maybe he never will...n i respect tat...

So i'm waddling thru day 1 of hurt of loving an atheist..i wonder how many days more i'll have to endure...how many days more must i grin n bear n said 'i'll be ok' n i'll survive coz i am alive ...for there are umpteen moments tat i wish i'll survive no more n juz like,be gone...coz it'll b so much easier..so much easier....

Yesterday,deep in my heart i knew i'll be a v.angry girl..i'll be angry at myself most..n i'll be angry at y this must happen when it has to end tis way..i tot i'll be angry at god coz y must tis happen when he knew the end..i tot i wont go for religious class coz i'll be too angry over my decision of choosing my religion over love...but then i'm not angry at god,coz its not his fault..its mine...for loving an atheist...a strong-believer atheist also..ironically,it strengthens my faith in my religion..though it breaks mi in every other way

its also 1 day nearer to the day that i'm wishin for to come true ..look on the bright side..:D:D:D:D..a day...that'll never come...har,wat the hell...

'loving an atheist'
'waiting for a day that seems impossible to arrive'
'i'll be waiting...in vain..but at least it gives me hope'..

false hope,har...bleahh

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Sunday, February 27, 2005

12th October 1985

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Why..WHY..?!Whyy..if its god's will,whY?..

In my culture/religion,it is never encouraged or gd to ask 'why'..it is like almost blasphemous to defy god's words or challenge the maker who had made us whom we are today..so i shall not ask y...

instead,i shall go the other angle..Rules..Religion..y must there be laws n y must there be religions..Yea,we all know we need to obey the laws to restore the natural balance btw gd n bad, justice n evil..we need to obey s'pore laws so we wont land in jail..without laws, there'll be disorders n chaos on earth..y must we haf religion then?y must we fight religion against religion just coz we think our religion is the Right one...its a sad sad world out there, n it hurts each individual of both religions..so isnt it better to be religion-less..?its almost *syirik for me to say or even contemplate this..no,i am not and had never contemplate givin up my religion..but how do ppl who haf given up theirs feel abt it?do they feel 'free'?..do they feel liberated..do they feel lost?..i'm just wondering...for those who are atheists,y do they feel strongly against following a religion...y do they need to feel that 'freedom' that noone n nobody n no god will be able to control your destiny..even if it may end up costing ur loved ones like ur friends n families?..is it really 'freedom' these ppl feel...*Sorri if i step on any toes of any atheists readin this*..

Being born a muslim, religion has always been a part of me..its a part of who i am..its a part i can never give up no matter wateva it may cost me...no matter how much it hurts mi..anyway,i shall end coz i'm feelin too tired n a lil sick to my stomach...

Last line of surah al-kafirun(The Non-islamic ppl) in the al-quran: 'N u go with your religion, n i'll go with mine...'

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Saturday, February 26, 2005

12th October 1985

Like Crush the turtle goes..'and you go WHOA..then you go Whoa...and then u were like whoa..x.x'..thats how i went ...after taking the muscle relaxant pills for my stiff neck...No wonder i felt so strange..like i'm feelin drunk but not drunk..coz i dunno how its like to B drunk actually..n its like i'm feelin high but then i'm not that high coz everything ard mi is on slow mode,incl. myself..n yea,i could still think so i wasnt that high to begin with..but its like i can poke anythin n it'll bounce back to me that kinda feel..err..wat am i tokin abt..now my brain has gone WHOA..X.x.

n it took mi 2 days to realise that..dotz..n it has to hit mi during raphael's class when i frantically took out my medicine to see if there's anything drowsy that i had ate..Total:None..but i was still going whroar..then i saw the words 'muscle relaxant'..n i was ohhh..n whoaa..y the hell am i still eating that anyway i asked myself..ANswer:no idea..NO wonder la...

So went home after buyign dinner for my mum(i luv to buy her dinner coz it means she wants to eat the dinner la..n her meals arent that regular anyway..*hugs*)..did my evening prayer while all the time i was goin 'whoar..'n i wonder if my prayer can actually be accepted with That medicine in my bloodstream n turning my head inside out..so after tat i conked out...till 1205..whoaa..i woke up at midnite:D..coz mum dragged mi out off bed to ask mi eat my dinner..

which i still haf no appetite for..sadly or fortunately, after the demam saga earlier this week my appetite had gone down alot!..hopefully,if it stayed that way,i can lose some wt hha..On the way out of school, a tkd member stared at me n went like 'u from tkd right'..n i was like 'yea..bye!' so nonchalantly ..i had wanted to add 'yea..n like no,i've quitted' hha..he wasnt wearing any gee either so maybe he skipped too..bad boy..junior belts shouldnt skip,they've got so much to learn..as for me,i shud juz go back to a junior belt la ar..my black belt becomin white with all the dust collected from my drawer anyway:D..

haiz..no tkd..no more sch aikido too..must make effort to go down tanglin to train N to get my results..dawn already got hers(congrats girl,u deserved it..actually u deserved a double!)..haiz..didnt go out wif monkey coz he was bz with his project so i went home straight to get rid of me feelin 'whroarr..'..i already felt bad enuf i cut yesterday's date short coz i was still going 'whoaa' n at tat time,i couldnt figure out y yet la..so mean..tis week is like the first week we spent time apart more than together..so sad..:'(..i hope tis wont continue though..or we'll get too caught up tat we dont want to spend time together..*sighs*..

on the way home,i started thinkin of all the 'promises' i had made him..n all the 'promises' he had remember even if i didnt remember..n i tot,wat if there's promises i made but couldnt remember....i noe i didnt remember askin him to make those roses for mi but he did..*scratch head* .. i noe i promised him to buy the shirts for us two, n i did for his bday..he was so happi*pleased*though it wasnt same design or colours but its like a 'pair shirts' that kind..n i promised him i want to get a cargo pants but till now,havent find the right Size or Price yet..cargo pants can b so damn ex la..i shall save up juz to buy a gd quality one just for him..hmz..y cant i be like him n 'make' him somethin like he alwys do for me..the materialistic gene in me juz go 'buy,buy,buy'..but making somethin is more sincere..hmm.but then hor,if i make stuff for him,he'll probably criticise it coz his handiwork n cutlery skills are Better than mine..haizzz

anyway,i've stopped goin 'whoa' after my nap..n i stll havent find ppl to interview for my report abt the elderly or the disabled n their grudges with takin public buses yet..cham la..anyway,better get back to touchin up my blogskin which i changed within a few mins b4 the last class started juz now :D..cya~!

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Saturday, February 26, 2005

12th October 1985

Friday, February 25, 2005

Team Rose
Anywhere you wanna go,
Anything you need to know,
All the best in life,
I want to get it for you.

Baby, I just feel so fine.
I imagine that you?re mine.
In my world you?re gold.
I only want to protect you.

Whatever I want I get.
I want shooting stars.
Whatever I need I have.
When I?m with you.

Follow me inside, outside, through the stratosphere.
The moon is shining for you.
It knows that I adore you.
Suddenly all the sadness will just slip away.
And you will see what I mean,
If you just follow me in my dreams.

I was searching everywhere.
Suddenly I saw you there.
And my love arrived, just in the nick of time.
Life floats on a movie screen.
You?re the star of my scene.
Live on the edge of a knife,Larger than life!
Whatever I want I get.
No one can take your place.
Whatever I need I have.
When I see your face.

Follow me inside, outside, through the stratosphere.
The moon is shining for you.
It knows that I adore you.
Suddenly all the sadness will just slip away.
And you will see what I mean,If you follow me in my dreams. (2x)

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Friday, February 25, 2005

12th October 1985

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I'm so bored..worse still,there's nobody online i could chat with..wonder why i am still on then...harrrrrrrrrrr..arggh..i'm so irritatingly bored..n sad..for he is still respondin to me like a stranger..-hurts-..

I'm so bored but there's a million other thing i could do..i could write azhar's article abt the guest speaker session which i had mc-ed myself..but at least got the notes from roshi but i havent open yet..it gives mi a strange feelin to write abt the guest speaker when i wasnt around in the first place..But at least,i finished the movie review thing..my Lit knowledge has served me well..even in movies..but then hor,i wonder if the layman on the street reading it will understand..should be bah..i didnt write it so chim..i think:D..if only i can write a lit essay on the movie,it'll be damn cool la..lemme try..urgh,my literal translation of it sux..i had deleted it of course so as not to humiliate myself as an ex-lit student..this movie is highly recommended for lit.fanatics like Addy but beware of its subconscious meanings behind it..the truth hurts,and reality stinks..whats worse..there is no woodsman to protect little children from the harms of Man and society alike. There is no woodsman to cut open the wolves' stomachs and bring them out safely without any scratches...

Kevin Bacon starred as Walter, an ex-paedophile whose past continually haunts him throughout the movie. Bacon manages to turn the emotions of the audience from feeling disgusted at the most controversial character of society, into one that evokes sympathy that an ex-paedophile is after all, a mere human being with his own failures and weaknesses after all. This movie takes a hard look at our critical society which is quick to condemn anyone who sidetracked from the boundaries that Man has set in stone. It made us reviewed our judgment at those who had fallen through the cracks of society and at our unforgiving rationales towards them.

wateva la hhaha..my lit is so lannnnn..:D:D:D..i gave myself an F..

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Wednesday, February 23, 2005

12th October 1985

4 days of not seeing him n he turned up with a black face coz i supposedly msged him during his common tests..who asked him not to switch off his phone?Like i had done it intentionally huhh..only 4 days of lookin fwd to see him,n he turned out like a stranger..after almost a year together,i wonder y..y is he so cold to me?is it juz coz of the smses or is there something else..y he pushed me when i wanted to cry on his shoulder..i cannot fathom..maybe its the beginnin of the end..if its god's will,then its fate i guessed..for him,for me..for us together or apart..Maybe it was never meant to be..just me and my blind delusional eyes leading me to a nowhere path..But we made up soon after ..yet he knew i was sick n i was havin gastric pain..yet he made me walked on my own at that deserted stretch of road..Only when i told him that then he had followed behind very slowly..does he even care wat may happen to me?does he even tink of mi anymore when it seemed his common tests n his ego seemed to be pushing me out of his life..doesnt sound logical or does it..

N my dad..wat the hell..i blogged so many time tat he doesnt seemed to care..you know wat?its true..why?coz this morning when i was in bed,the first thing he came home n asked mi was NOT 'are you ok?how're you doing"...No,the first thing he asked me was...'Have you paid your school fees with the money i've given you?'..You are so Caring dad that it HUrts!when i replied no..he walked away with this 'what is gonna happened to you n ur life..' n muttered away incoherently coz i fell asleep but not without hearin that Beautiful phrase..what kind of Dad are u sia..u dont care abt ur daughter but u cared more whether i had paid the sch fees..why?are u scared i'll use ur money in some other way?if u had care enough, u'll haf put the money in the Giro where the sch can withdraw easily right?if u had care enough,you would have gone down to the school n Pay yourself coz u know i am Sick n not that reliable at the moment!I am the only one daughter n the only child u can depend on..can u give me a break when i am not feelin well like now?hello,i know enuf not to use your money n spend it away lah duh!givemi some credits will you..STop comparing me with your Sister n other ppl who got themselves pregnant n went thru a Shotgun Marriage Coz i AM not THEM n i will never BE ok!Stop comparing me with all the shitty malay idiots out there who sleep and drink n fuck n flirt around coz i am not one of THEM,unless u want me to BE!U noe wat..if u continue thinkin of me like dat,maybe i WIL BE n DONT U REGRET IT coz then,your comparisons now will have some elements of truth right?!I am sick,n you cared more abt where ur money is going to..wat kind of Father are you?!

Its enuf Ur are hurtin mum n takin her money when u shouldnt coz UR the ONE who's workin in this Family so can you please stop using Mom's Money n start showin us Where all YOUR hard earned Money has gone to?u work day n nite which stretches into days that we hardly see you..n u still had no money to give us..worse,u made Mum used her CPF money when she could use it for herself??ANyway,when u got ur CPF money,i dont tink u'll Give it to us even a single cent right?Whateva..i hate bloggin abt you n your role as a father n a provider..coz simply,you havent been one at all!..

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Wednesday, February 23, 2005

12th October 1985

Monday, February 21, 2005

Feeling blue...green and while...and yellow...bleahh..to be sick is never a good feeling...whats worse is feelin sick n never seemed to get better..Bleaah..it had to be today tat i missed school..n the 2 blardy tests..n the talk..n the final IP ica..i am so dead..i'm halfway there since i'm feelin like one deady girl anyway...

Just finished updating the timings for the 3 day shootings dat we had..it was blardy confusing n irritating coz every new 'day' had a different timing since they all started from 00:00:00..so had to slowly calculate n count n added them all so they made sense..actually,in the end oso nvr made sense one..but at least it started from 00:00:00 to 21:++:++ so we can actually knew we used onli 21mins of tape..i think la..anything,just shoot mi..i dont think mr.lee n ms pereira will actually bother to count the seconds of everything that we shot right??..wateva la..

So now i need to find my paper for the 'incredible living space' show that we watched on friday..but i cant figure out where i stuff it la so well..Stuff it la!n i realised i missed 2 SSL quizzes so i can see like zero for my CP already lor..i haf yet to ask her abt the first one:D..the only thing i remembered doing was the yahoo thingy..n i still havent submit the SSL article coz i was away for a doctor's appt on thursday morning..blah blah blah..cant wait for the sem to end ....cant wait to see the END of Scriptwriting Module n the END of the horrible teachers in That module..two bloody arrogant idiots from the Industry..big toot la..As compared to Lionel chok our freelancer lecturer,these 2 paled in experiences but deepened in big shit arrogance n nothingness..Conclusion:i dont tink i learn much or was impressed by much of their lessons...n i had expected alot more FUN from this module or at least something interesting..C'mon la,i juz came across my niece P2 textbook who taught her that 'EVERY STORY HAS A BEGINNING, A MIDDLE AND AN END'..hmz,dat sounds familiar..i tink i learnt it in my SEM 2 SCRIPTWRITING MODULE thx to a certain Woman who thinks we're dumbasses who cant seem to give her what she wants..when she dont even noe what she wants..KNS..hmz,fits her name..

Vc module is another boliaoz one whu teach us that human skills in managing people cannot be taught so i dunno why she is teachin us la..stuff like the control process but u cant really control ppl coz then,you'll have employee resistance n so u must constantly pat them on the backs n make them feel involved..like duh?SSL's module is impt to know so that i wont get fired or sued in the future due to all the copyrights n licensing stuff..so tat we can protect our asses n our work too..which is v.important so its ok la..but she always turn up in class like a tipsy woman...one day,i fear that she'll trip n topple over the cables....AV?AV is fun la but i'm no technical girl so i'm pretty adverse to handling the camera n its pretty obvious la..y then i was put logistics for the news bulletin n AP for the NYP Buzz that day during the auction:D..Journalistic is ok..its the only module where i dont mind learning what is to be learnt coz when it comes to writing,i dont mind at all..Finance..err...can say Interesting but COnfusing so thx gdness for a super dear lecturer we haf called Wendy Wong..every student under her will learn abt her 'wendy's cake shop' which i think she shud open also..

Y am i tokin abt all of those of the above...coz i'm bored n sick n tired n this sem has been hot n draggy thx to the weather n some of the idiotic lecturers whu luv to made us hot under the collar n screwed our brains coz they dunno how to unscrew theirs..Yea,i cant wait for this sem to end..the only thing i realised is the "elective" module my friends n i took during the whole course of this sem-playing with poker cards..Like lihui said,by the end of this sem,we'll learn at least 3 games..hmz..we learnt More from this "module"than some of our real modules lor!!.."-.-!!!Even Roshidah has proliferated from daidee to stress to hearts..congrats!!:D..

Anyway,i missed my monkey..3 days n countin without seeing him..if i go for my jc gatherin tomorrow,it'll probably be 4 days of not seeing him..n if i go for the wednesday gatherin too(i dunno for what also that one)it'll be 5 days..its almost a week...*sad*..Anyway,shall continue searching for that piece of paper abt the incredible living space..*away*

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Monday, February 21, 2005

12th October 1985

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

mama has a chicken, mama has a cow..dad is pleased but he dunno why..Cow&chicken..

Y cant life be a cartoon..y cant the world be a cartoon world..then every girl will find their prince charming and every story hasa happy ending..the day will be saved by either the ninja turtles, the power rangers or sugary sweet the powerpuff girls..captain planet oso can la..n the bad guys like mojojo,the bushes, osamas n the mad hussein can all fight it out inside their dirty jail cell wearing black n white stripey jail attire..Animals can talk n comfort humans..while it is true in real life that animals served as creatures of comfort in this uncertain, bad bad world..if only they can talk,it'll be much much more entertaining..If not animals,cute robots from the future can do also...i wont mind a doraemon around with me..i would love to have Pikachu! trailing after me..pika pika!!..And every tear shed can turn into a crystal n every kiss given will bring a loved one back to life..what an idealistic world it'll be..

Fine,i am being idealistic..not an ideal one in this world of so many knocks n bruises..y am i tokin abt cartoons..coz i juz watched snippets of Rugrats now at 2am in the morning..finally done with the news bulletin board which is done quite badly also coz i'm worn out..

Anyway,i sent my jc frennie's bf(who is also my friend)to the airport coz he's flying off to do his degree in Australia....had to rush from school to khatib to take the bus to the airport...all the while carrying a huge piece of styrofoam which broke a little in the bus la..ugh,my blood spilled out while i was walkin to the living room..cool but gross..reached the airport like twenty mins before he had to go..bumped into him b4 seein isabelle n he tot i was juz there passing by..n i was like..i'm here to see u off la dotz..

Anyway,realised All the frennies not there for they are supposedly busy with schoolwork n stuff..wateva la ar...isabelle was trying hard to hold back her tears la n she managed quite successfully..until he left..tried to comfort her but its quite hard with one hand carrying the humongous styrofoam n all..so juz hugged herfor awhile n let her cried her heart out ..at which point i also wanna cry la..shit..before that,i already felt teary-eyed n he's not even my boyfriend..told Yanjie the geography student that i felt like cryin n he replied that isabelle probably passed the sadness to me instead..-.-..

anyway,isabelle left wif her bf's sec school friends or jc? friends for she said she's takin a cab so she can be alone..to cry..waaah..cannot stand it,i wanna cry also..n i did lor,on my way back to t2 to take the mrt home..crazy me..i kept askin myself why..why am i crying when he's not even a close friend...most probably coz i envisioned how it'll feel like if i was in isabelle's shoes n monkey is the one leaving..i already dread the thought of him in ns..but to leave for overseas studies is ..will just kill me la....so i called monkey..

he was watchin 'police n thief' but was interrupted by my call..told him how i felt n what happened n all..n said if it was him leaving,i'll probably 'dieded' there at the airport..n his normal reaction..he went 'har har'..dotz..n i told him to cheer me up n he jus made that funny sound wif his tongue..which cracked me up ar..

*sighs*maybe when one grows old with age, one tends to get a bit overly emotional..someone told me that if u love a person or something so much, god'll taeke it away from that person..but the qn is, will he give them back..?its 254am now..shall go n conk myself out..gdnitez

isabelle,be strong..he'll return one day..like ur nick,it said how many 200 plus days left till seein him again??

me,stop cryin at other ppl's farewells..ur tears arenot needed or appreciated :p!

monkey?you're my angel..*smiles*

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Wednesday, February 16, 2005

12th October 1985

Saturday, February 12, 2005

And a HUGE wave of sadness washed over me...the relationship that never is meant to happen,the love that never gets to bloom..the 'you' and 'i' that never means to be 'us' ever..the years of waiting for it to happen...however,destiny n fate is stronger..we will never be 'we' for once..foreva..so y cant u stop popping back into my life like an irritating commercial..yet one that never fails to bring back fond memories...DAMN..i am so darn hopeless sometimes...

The one whu teach mi that Love can Be just a friendly game..that no one has to get hurt if both of the parties noe the boundaries btw love n the line of breaking hearts..the love that can be simple n sweet n carefree juz coz both of us noe it is never meant to be,nor will it even started...the lines we always knew not to cross..Snapshots of simple memories of just us two..as friends..n that'll be all we know we can ever be...though sometimes i,maybe you too had hoped for something more...yet i also noe i deserved something better...n i noe its not in you..too bad..so sad..*shrugs*..thats y everyday i see my monkey,i noe he's dat 'something better'..though he taught mi that love can nvr be simple,he also taught so much more..n sometimes,its better loving a rough edge than being slipped over n tripped by a smooth eel of love..if u get wat i mean..i always knew i love a motorbiker more than someone with a smooth set of wheels..but too bad,i have none of that ever..not tat i'll haf anytime soon..not wif careful little monkey whu prefers a set of four wheels than two...

i missed the monkey..yes i do..coz its been 2days since CNY n today i ended so late as usual..n tomorrow i gotta buy a new phone so cant spend the day wif him much..if at all la..its v.rare these days tat we haf a full day juz to ourselves that kind so juz haf to make do wif wat we haf for now...seeing him everyday even for a second is enough of a blessin so i shall not complain..

Raihan came over yesterday n cried n tok her heart out abt her 'breakin' relationship..strangely,after she tok,she wasnt so mad at him n even called him to fetch him..hmm..she was explainin to me slowly n even showing mi pictures of her bf's "misdeeds" n ..v.strange..its enuf he lied to her for a year(thx gdness it wasnt somethin HUGE)..but the fact remains,he lied..n he tried to cover up wif stuff or shit that onli got thrown back at his face la..*shrugs*..photos are pictoral evidence,n she got it..n he tried to bluff his way out n got caught..wat is tis..seriously,i told her its enuf he lied to her for a year..he tried to bluff his way out for fear of hurtin her or makin her angry...like i ask her,is he Loving her or Fearing her more..hmz,the more i write it,the more bull it sounded so i shall stop writing..all the best to her...strangely enuf,though we are the best of friends, we dont seem to have gd opinions of each other's bfs much..i mean,monkey wif his hot-cold temper sometimes coz he tot he was being left out..n my friend's bf who's seemingly paranoid over his gf being ard other New guys..she said it though,the trust is there...i shall believe..though with a hint of doubt..Maybe like she said la,malay couples are like dat..*shrugs*i dunno,n i dont really care ..All i noe is that from the start,i wasnt always pleased with his "over-protectiveness'" and seemingly "jealousy" that he wants to spend the time wif her more than her spendin wif others..then treasure it la..

oh ya..no more liaoz..its 114am n i shall go n sleep...Happi birthday lihui!!

happi bday to u
happi bday to u
happi bday Dear Lihui!!!!
happi bday to u *hugs*

happi bday dear girl,hope u'll stay as happi n joyful n positive as always..so glad to have u in my life ever since the day we stepped into poly 2gether..um figuratively la..*hugs*!happy birthday!!

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Saturday, February 12, 2005

12th October 1985

Thursday, February 10, 2005

SUch is the 1st day of CNY..so freakin bored for non-chinese like me living in a community made up of 70% chinese...coz most of the shops are closed..i shall not whine juz for the fact dear Norisha, my jc friend came over today to cure my boredom ^^!!

Havent seen much of her now that we're in diff. schs..but at least i saw more of her than any other jc friends of mine...we're juz not geographically near i guessed...thats a lame excuse:p..Ming,if ur reading this,are we still goin back to pj b4 u haf to fly off again?Anyway,i missed jc days, esp jc friends..like hanini n the frennies..norisha n mi were jokin abt how she used to tell us abt her stumbling upon her parents doing something...-.- but thats hanini la..the one wif the 7 siblings..dats like alot lor..but then again,maybe ppl livin in the west are less stressed to have sex more often hha..um,thats juz a baseless theory of mine..but jurong does have a larger family population n most families tend to 'migrate' there anyway..its a very family-friendly area i guessed..?

Anyway,today was a freakin boring day la..cant go anywhere much so norisha n me landed in toa payoh pizza hut where we yakked for an hour odd i think..with her,there's so much to yak about ^^..from sch to teachers to gay-guys to even crushes..*hugs*she's so yak-able..but wats impt is that she can yak so much coz she's so knowledgable too abt different diverse topics such as how Aids claim more lives than Sars n birdflu put together n how most ppl n the media are juz 'skipping' that fact sometimes coz it doesnt really affect us dat kind..then we tok abt how burma is increasing its vice activity in child prostituition and trafficking more than thailand had done..n the sad fact is, the situation is much worse than what we probably knew so far...those 'snakeheads' are inhumane..she dun understand y these countries (eg burma,thailand n philippines??) are havin so much political problems but i guessed it probably went waaaay back into history times..which both of us had not much knowledge of la..i mean,the last time i took history was in sec2..n she last took it in jc 1 first 3 mths..then i updated her on some news like Nepal closing all its telecommunication links coz of king gyanedra..wat amazed me was how his army is super loyal to him..its like doubtful esp since he's 'connected' some ways to his brother and nephew's murders few yrs back..

gee..its gp all over lor..missed gp a little..i mean,still do read the news la but hardly get to write about it much as we had done in gp essays...i missed writing essays(har,cant believe i said that!)..to write essays is to gauge how much knowledge u actually have grasped lei..Yesterday,i was reading the news then i felt the urge to like cut some of the topics like i used to do..such as the prime minister saying stuff abt the importance of family n how family planning consultations are increasing..its like..in gp,if ur able to get his quotes n other impt ppl quotes down on essays,u'll probably safe enuf to get a decent mark in gp la..:P..maybe i shud start doing that also..

Haaaaaaaa,i'm so bored i'm tokin abt gp wat the hell..oh yea,i got norisha hooked on 'stress' hahaha..now she'll probably go and 'stress' her friends out too..wats farnie was that she really got stressed playing it lol..then we played 2 rounds of daidee b4 she had to go..i tink i sorta distracted her from studying so she had to burn midnite oil tonitez >.<..so evil of me..:D..hmz,i wish i could study..hm,i shud start studyin for the upcomin vc test but without a textbook,i felt a bit lost..it doesnt help the fact that unis are still v.much textbook-based like norisha had said..it made me feel like i'm not studyin enuf...she asked mi if i want to study..n i went like..um,wat u want me to study..finance,vc n ssl's modules went thru my mind but wihtout a textbook,um..its like grasping water to learn that its made up of 2 hydrogen and 1 oxygen atoms?..um,i shall not digress to blog abt science now...

Anyway,she piqued my interest to pick up relief teachings..which i had been dodgin for awhile now..at first,i tot she was tokin abt basic tutoring but she meant really go down to MOE to sign up for relief teaching at real schools..n i was like 'phwoar..harrr...'..i mean,to tutor someone is already a daunting tot..i dun haf the courage to make someone learn n pass well see..if they fail,i die....but hmmz,maybe pri.schs i dont mind la..it sounds cool la..i mean,i've been helpin ma'am with tkd at pri.sch for like 3 years already?though its a waaay diff.teachin mtds n syllabus..it sounds ok la..maybe i'll consider...maybe i'll take up tutorin la..if i can b bothered enuf to find an agency which i absolute hate..i mean,give me a kid n i'll teach la..dont make mi wait for a call to find me a kid..juz gimmi The kid..but if its anythin like my niece,i'll give u back la..^^!!

my phone's still blind by the way so ppl dont sms me ok..call me..i'll sms u wif my mum's phone if necessary but for now,i'm sms-less..i am handicapped arrrghh..n i am still not hapi abt it..grrr..

wah,i wrote so long n my font's so small..hmz,betta stop..gdnitez..hapi new year!!


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Thursday, February 10, 2005

12th October 1985

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Isnt it a pity how Man has turned into a slave of technology in their strive to have a better world for all of us to live in...globalisation has its pros n cons..but it also turned Man into a slave for all things machines or metal(err..thats industrialisation..)..Anyway,now its all the technology driving the economy forward n along with it,Man are being dragged along or left to bite the dust...AAaaaaaaaaaargh...Y am i saying all tis nonsensical stuff..Coz i'm Upset..Y?coz my damn phone suddenly forgot its head n lost its eyes somewhere on my way home n now its showin a pitch-black screen...Worse,its mocking mi by its ability for me to make calls in and out..Aaaaaaaargh..damn phone..damn my father's phone..I want my old $175 without contract Nokia 2100 phone back!!..the one dat droppoed into CLEAN toilet bowls 3 times n 1 time into a sink n still worked Wonders!!..Hail nokia 2100!which is now out of production...n yea,i really dropped it into clean toilet bowls..of course,i dropped it after i flushed la dotz...

Pitch black screen means the inability to SMS..the necessary function of my life..much more essential than my basic need of eating...argghhhhhh..will the shop be opened tomorrow?of course not la,its CNY..1st day somemore..whats worse,now that means i may not even be able to trade in my phone la,and i'm already damn broke in view of my own account...i dont want use mum's money..dad's money?will wait until i grow a long santa claus beard arrr...i'm feelin so tense,so upset now..blardy phone..ur not even mine!n i haf to 'suffer' for it..y cant u spoil yourself when ur in my dad's hands..now he's givin mi all the blame,juz coz u felt like takin a CNY Break n shortcircuit yourself or wateva u had done to yourself la...ingrate phone!...n i took care of u better than my N.2100..i didnt even DO anythin to you..all i did was took u out of my pocket on my bus journey home today to find that u've lost your Sight,and u made me lost my brains for that!..its not farniee lei..i 'feel' for u going blind..coz i'm handicapped too!..tis is called Technology Rage..umm..nah,tats more reserved for my slow computer..for those days i feel like throwin the whole monitor out of the window which is conveniently on my left la..um..itz called 'short-sightedness of modern technology'..har!hahahaha..dats a gd one..i'm going mad..

Ugh..n i juz watched 5hrs of tv back to back..from some anita yuen show to 'pck' to 'living wif lydia' to 'the best bet'...i tink living wif lydia's final episode which was juz now,had a pretty lousy script..which is too bad coz its the Final episode ..i mean..Rhonda got married to the King of Martabak n lydia gonna open a business in china..n sulaiman got a new career..n who's dat guy whose wife returned to him wif a newborn daughter..so everybody splitted ways n there were hugs all around..then rhonda's wedding which was full of chicken feathers everywhere coz supposedly, the land of martabak held chickens in high regards or something...dotz..wat the hell..but then again,its a closure la..but its a "feathery"closure -.-!!..wateva la..

Speaking of feathers,i watched 'Racing Stripes' today..very nice,will recommend to those who can tahan talking animals n horses like me!:)..The plot is predictable la..a zebra thought he was a racehorse then wanted to race then found out he's not..da da da..then got a pretty white horse as a girlfriend called 'sandy'..but the script's hilarious la..In conclusion,i lurve it..its wacky n humane..it gave animals a voice n gave them more hearts than some humans could possess..its abt friendship,determination,dreams of achieving the impossible..and breaking all preconceived notions n barriers of oneself-such as a zebra can never race that kind..its a fantasy story,so please leave reality behind to enjoy it..

Cool Quotes!

"your father is a horse,and your mum is a white fence"

"Are you the racehorse's referee?"..which made me laughed like siao la...

"you're a pigeon acting like a chicken calling yourself a goose...(2more birds involved)..great,thats 5 birds in 1"-tucker..which cracked me up also..ingenious!

Reggie the rooster crowing at day's break for the 3rd n final time.."Doesnt anyone have a clock?"..dotz.

hee..now i'm feelin better..i dont mind buyin the vcd..juz to watch the two idiotic flies n the goose...hha,i tink i like the goose..who's actually a pelican from the city..anyone wanna watch,i dont mind 2nd round:D..



Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Tuesday, February 08, 2005

12th October 1985

Man's greatest evil is pure laziness...n i'm sufferin from that:p..nah.actually its more that laziness is a part of me...n when it comes to my brain not connecting to other parts of my body..my brain Is really disconnected..:D..

Fine,i wasnt so lazy today..or last monday..Mondays always seemed to be the 'bziest' day though got 4 hrs break...last week was spent rushing the family week campaign n ica..this week was filming outside SPH..i shall not blog too much abt it cept its damn cool experience la..damn farnie oso..n 1 thing..Toa Payoh's heartlanders are the BEst to interview for voxpops i tink..but i haf limited filming experience so will still keep an open mind..anyway, all are so willing and nice..n have VAried opinions..simply da best..cept for one uncle who went on n on abt so many topics..-.-..but most simply 'siam' or smile politely n 'siam' also hha..*grinz*..but..felt v.bad lihui's grp gotta sacrifice their filming for that mornin slot..simply shitty la,its not fair..it doesnt haf to happen like dat lah..sometimes i feel mr.lee can b such a scatterbrain..-.-" But like rach said,the other class came earli in the mornin to grab the equipment so no choice mah..cannot steal back though we booked like weeks in advance..*sighs*

Y was i tokin abt laziness..hmm..coz laziness defines me..i am lazy,therefore i am hhaha..'i eat,therefore i am'..is it by e.e cummings or whoeva..so lazy i'm still figurin out who shall i interview for my feature story ica..i chose valentina but with all the CNY celebrations ongoin soon..i tink it'll b pretty impossible..shit,must buck up la..later end up wif noone to interview then i got nothin to write...hmm,mayb can ask my auntie..but she's married even though she travelled overseas for her medical studies b4...that was wen she was single..its no longer current news hha..hmmmz...shit shit..

Anyway,the shoot for today coz $41.10...thats like alot lor...itz cos of the tape(8.50) n McD's breakfast..like dat,we can reach our budget of 82bucks++ in 1.5 days liaoz..cham..must scrimp n save..juz cos its cny doesnt mean we can exceed our budget...

Oh yea,i'm lazy..coz..i noe i haf to do SSL's n WW's tutorial,but i'm still stuck here bloggin n stoning away..i bought Inuyasha's deck of cards..but hardly any SHippo Pics Grrr!Felt a bit cheated though its still not bad ar..at least i got a new deck..now i got one big deck n one colourful small deck...y cant i juz buy a Normal deck like everyone else...*wonders*..yea,y cant i ar..dotz..coz small normal deck is too plain..n too small..big deck is bigger n bolder..colourful inuyasha deck got pictures...yea thats y!..

Has anyone seen a Pikachu's deck?..only pikachu mind u..but i dun mind the rest of the pokemon oso..cept for onix n zubat n golbat n ...those pokemons whu's a pest n create obstacles in the game i'll MIND.....
:D..nitez


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Tuesday, February 08, 2005

12th October 1985

Monday, February 07, 2005

what makes u different makes u beautiful..wats there inside u shines thru to me..^^

Hee,felt so happi 2day..coz finally the gradin is Over!!yay yay yay..Rushed off to tanglin after my religious class..really thought i was late since the taxi driver cant seemed to pinpoint the location of TCC..rrived at TCC and saw the grading has started so rushed ff again to the toilet to change..then went out and screeched to a halt..coz i saw fara n dawn sittin patiently outside Undressed..umm..i meant they werent attired yet..cheyy..the gradin i saw ongoin was for the senior belts..more cheeeyy..Anyway,i was freaking nervous that both fara and i made dawn nervous too..sorri dawn..>,<..I was freakin nervous not so coz i'm scared..but rather coz i dunno wat to expect..i mean, in tkd they made u practised patterns n basic kicks so much b4 the grading..but this..heck, i didnt even noe what will be tested..plus the fact sensei havent been teaching ou classes for so long..i really felt unnerved n felt like a freak la..

BUT..cheyy..it wasnt that bad..fine,i still wasnt sure wat commands sensei was shouting at coz i was at the far end of the dojo..plus my back was twds him so i really cannot hear..Anyway,even if can hear i still dont understand....all the jap terms v.bleaah..will take me some long time to remember..Anyway,my partner was a brown belt guy..plump plump one..very 'nice' to pin down coz he's very fleshy lolx..like chicken like dat..brown-coloured chicken..lol..fine,i didnt had breakfast or even lunch..juz a small pack of twisties so i was VERY HUNGRY..Anyway,my basics movements sux coz i was too freakin nervous..i almost lost my balance when turning 180 backwards..conclusion;my posture sux coz i was too nervous..got one time i almost lost my balance n fall..but didnt heng though i was wobbling..deduct points liao!

Then came the techniques..which turned out fine surprisingly..i think i moved too far or too much..but ok la..at some pt i dunno wat sensei was saying so juz glanced at the only person i could copy from who stood on the rght of me...i was really at the end of the spectrum with nobody much to copy from:p..i did one technique wrongly whereby i turned my partner with an 'ura'(back) move instead of 'omote(front)..Anyway,i remembered most of the times i was goin 'oh shit' even though i did it oklah..i kept trying to remember the pointers Sailormars(the jap girl whom i trained with for 2weeks) gave me..which helped alot ar..but i tink she probably gave up after watching mi do..Conclusion-it wasnt that bad though maybe i shouldnt haf been so nervous..my opponent could feel me trembling with nervousity lor..so paiseh!

After my gradin,came the other senior belts..then i caught SailorMars sittin in an 'ungirly' position n sleepin on her knee.."-.- she was bored dotz..couldnt help but laugh..Anyway,she was also there for gradin n noone rushed to partner her..probably scared ar..I learnt from Dawn she's a black belt holder of 3 martial arts..wow!Dawn said she got black belt in ..get this!-Judo,Taekwondo!,Aikido..whoa..u go sailormars!..then i immediately tot how cool it'll b to spar with her one on one using taekwondo..but then again,she'll probably slaughter me in just a second..Japan's form of Tkd is Without a doubt much more Skilled than SIngapore's..so i withdrew the thought..i still cannot imagine her kicking though..

Then went off to monkey's place to play comp.games..he was away helping his grandma made spring rolls....see the reversal of gender roles in action here?:D..Managed to complete the 9 'normal' stages of Super Puzzle fighter for the second day in a row..*pleased*..but his comp is damn fast as compared to my laggy dying one..so it took mi quite awhile to adjust to play properly..The last stage gave me a huge amt of difficulty that i roped him in to help..he was back to mop the floors..but he couldnt win either..so i won it myself la..after an hour of tries..super damn long lor..then went on to play the 'hard' level but by then sianz already n i was superhungry after a whole day going meal-less..:D

Pa pa pa pa pa..Yay!..pika!..chuuuuu!pika pika!..*hugs*gdnitez ..lets pray the week fwd wont be so tiring..


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Monday, February 07, 2005

12th October 1985

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Hmmz...been starin at tis page for like 5 mins..i've no idea wat to blog today...

at first i felt like talking abt marriage and how it brings that security that the love of ur life will come back to ur arms at the end of that day..then i think again how these days,the divorce rates are so high that you'll never know the marriage solemnisation ur witnessin today may turn out to be a divorce case 3mths later...

Then i tot of writing about my day today n how i enjoyed chattin wif Jady online for half an hour abt martial arts n the lost 'spiritual essence' of taekwondo in SIngapore. I could also talk about this morning when i woke up at 10 specially to watch cartoons..the only ones that caught my interest were Powerpuff Girls n Pokemon Advance Generation...

Which means i could also blog a whole long paragraph abt pikachu,my fave pokemon after watchin the dvd..Pikachuuuuuuuuuuu!..Sometimes i wish my monkey wil haf 2 red dots on his cheeks like pikachu then i'll be His voice and go 'pika.....chuuuuuuuuu!'^^..If i ever haf a 3g phone or any phone wif recordable sound device,i'l probably record the sounds Pikachu made and use it as my ringtones:D..that'll be so cool...pika pika!!

Or i could also blog about how i spent the day with my Mum at Expo's Giant and John Little Sale..but then again,its juz another warehouse sale(s)..fine,it was great 'mother-daugther' bonding time but then again its yet another sale..which was not as crowded as i had expected..

Then again, I could also blog about my upcoming aikido grading tomorrow which i have no idea wat to expect except that it''ll be 'easy' as said by the seniors..my fears n doubts of making it thru n the stress of unable to expect wat i'll be tested on..the little hope that burns in me that maybe i can do well enuf to impress the judges..:D..

Anyway,i realised i juz finished bloggin abt wat i had wanted to blog on ^^..Maybe when i haf more things to tink thru n tok abt,i'll return again..for now i'm done


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Saturday, February 05, 2005

12th October 1985

Friday, February 04, 2005

I used to be strong..now i am so weak n hapless..i used to haf things n stuff to grasp on n be motivated..now i feel lost..i used to believe so much in myself,that life will be the way i wanted them to be one day..i used to feel so much for others..now i feel detached instead..as though life is guided by alot more other factors from myself..as though life is not just living the way i wanted it to be..life is something bigger..n more confusin n dangerous..n all i wanna do is hide under my blanket n cry so the big meanie world will fear n not hurt mi anymore..u noe when u were once small,u were able to cry n everythin will turn out fine eventually sooner or later..u noe when u cry,its really crying your whole tiny heart out n maybe lungs also..u find that comfort that by juz cryin ur heart out shamelessly like a child, all issues can be resolved n 2morrow will be a bright shiny happy day in the world of children once more..i long for that comfort..

Tis i guess is juz mere teen's angst..felt by others whu were once in their teens n the teens of this time n age..yet today's teen is not facin wat yesterday' teens once faced..yesterday teens never see the 911 nor heard of Osama or BUSh..(well,maybe the older Bush yes la)..they never heard of Sars n Bird flu n nuclear bombs/wars that the present teens are face2face with..lest of all,they never haf to face an uncertain future dictate by the number n types of certificates or money one has..now i feel there is one more uncertainty...the uncertainty of how far ur education will take u..

in o'levels,there wasnt much uncertainty..either u go there or there or there..jc,poly,ite..no need to worri so much..esp wif ites being so high-achieving the past few yrs..any instituition is gd..then u went jc..the uncertainty of makin it thru the first year..the uncertainty of unabling to keep up wif ur studies..the uncertainty to get a decent grad..the uncertainty of facin the a'levels...lastly,the uncertainty of that even if u haf the grades,will the unis still want u..?their expectations increased everytime..even if u tink u got decent grades,will the tink the same way..nus took in 6000 every yr..not sure abt the rest..these unis are so busy in wantin to pick the best that classes are left empty coz they refused to pick the rest..so where do the rest go..private u,work,overseas u,poly..which brings abt more uncertainty..

in poly..there are alot more uncertainties..its not the same as that 'blanket' security a jc student has such as the MAIN motive is to DO well n Enter the U..in poly,every sem is unpredictable..some modules u may hate..some modules may piqued ur interest..then there's groupwork..some group gels, some dont..some never does..some is juz impossible..there's also individual work which offers some old sense of security..wif ind.exams,its the onli thing which u can grasp on to that if u study,u will do well..yet there's also those litter of tests to gauge ur progress..more uncertaintly..conclusion;u'll never haf a gd or even a faintest grasp of how ur grades will turn out in the end..

enuf bullshittin la..i'm havin swallow's eyes liaoz..bye..


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Friday, February 04, 2005

12th October 1985

Thursday, February 03, 2005

When i cry,i cry over things that ppl dun expect mi to cry abt..
When i cry,i dont stop until i can find the courage to stop..
When i cry,it doesnt have to mean i'm v.sad..
Rather,it can mean i'm very upset and very mad...very,very mad..>.
Super upset wif myself tis sem..already my individual works dont seem to be on par or gd enuf..n i dunno y..my writing sux tis sem too..sometimes i feel its coz i write too much..i haf tis habit of writin too much n my writin will juz slacken n goes downhill..it happened b4 durin my o'level days..thats y i got b3..i was too stressed out..thats y i got b3 again in gp..again,i was too stressed out n workin too hard twds achieving wat i wanted till in the end,i never get it la..ironic ar..ppl says hard work will bring u glory n makes ur dreams come true..but they never say anythin abt workin too hard...or too much..N for groupwork,our newscript got slammed like hell..really 'upsetted' mi alot considerin its mi n jiali whu took charge of it...i mean,the whole grp collaborated on wat we want on the script but in the end,it boiled down to jiali n me whu put everythin together...i'm blaming myself like siao cos i'm the one whu typed everythin out ar....it really goes to show how SUCKY my writing has become la until got slammed so teruk...then the waterworks started n i wont stop..from yck all the way to tanah merah i refused to stop..plus waited for him that half hour...1hr in total..so mad n so upset...juz coz of studies,so pathetic!

Was waitin for monkey to come but he was takin an awfully long time to finish his pool game n find mi so i juz broke down there n then while waitin for him lor..once started,cannot stop lor..ppl must be thinkin wat kind of bad news tis girl has gotten cryin like siao over at the corner..sometimes i tink i'm crazy..i can even break down over studies which some ppl dont give a damn abt also...but wat made mi cry harder was the echoin of my dad's words that i dun even noe wat i'm doin in school...he said it so pointedly like he really tink i'm dat slack at sch n never achieve anythin much..it makes mi so angry that while he's not even around,he can even go so far to juz accuse me anyhow without havin so much a basis of evidence...wats worse..i'm still goin on n on juz to prove him wrong..so sad ritez..being so hard to be a gd daughter ALL MY LIFE when all the while he tinks i'm juz a shitty daughter thats not growin up ENUF..

got home late today abt 11 odd then i juz got that vibe from him sittin there watchin tv..the vibe went like this 'i dont like tis comin home late kinda thing'..i remembered all the others 'i dont like tis...'..which made mi tink..wat then he like ar..i really really wonder...he told mi so often wat he dont like abt me..eg comin home late,goin out often...wat is it then he has like abt mi then...tink n tink..then i gave up coz i really dont know..v.tired liao...*gone*


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Thursday, February 03, 2005

12th October 1985

The first time Sir said when i came up to him yesterday morning was'wah,u grown plump already ar.next time wear ur full gee to help'.."-.-!!Mi plump?that was a word NOBODY associate me wif..until recently la...*covers face*urrgh...plump..okla,at least he doesnt say 'fat'..i do look at the positive side of life har?hha..aaaaaaaargh...not that i haf anythin against fat ppl..but i was never one of theM!..the motto 'eat wat u want as long as it makes u happy' really doesnt seem to apply -.-!!!!..By the way,which side of mi grew plump-er?..

i want to grow TALL so can serve the nation..such a stupid rule..y must one be at least 1.6m to serve the nation..dotz!wats up wif tat..its size discrimination out n out lor..(eh,where's the rest of tis message..how dare blogger cut mi off..haiz,even blogger is discriminatin my small sizeness..)..We are already discriminated from beauty pageants, y must a nobler purpose hinders us too??!we are small,lithe n lite n fast enuf n of course, we can jump higher coz we are lighter(dont the *garment*learn physics..)..n being small, there is Lower possibility of us kena hit by bullets(dont they learn maths too?!)..so there'll b lower body count n lesser responsibility to answer to our families who may be vertically challenged too..its a gene thing,dun discriminate us coz of it..n dun give us a lousy excuse we may b suitable for something else thats 'small' yet similarly nobler n big in quantity..bleaah..

Yesterday,i felt like a terrorist n a sniper all in one..i felt like a bad,bad girl..juz coz we went to reki(recce?) SPH out in the hope that we can film there for our ica la..walked past the security into the reception area..then we were turned out coz no matter wat,we haf to wait for permission b4 we can proceed wif anythin..then we went into sph carpark where jiali went to take some pixs..like few metres in front of her, another security guard was lookin at us INTENSIVELy..stretched his head like a giraffe to see wat we're doing..which made mi feel like i'm takin pics so next time i noe where to plant the 'bombs'..that made me feel like a 'terrorist'..

then we slowly walked out n went straight to the hdb block n took the lift up to the highest floor(12)..n we took more pictures..there i felt like a sniper..i saw one security officer walking very fast across the building, and 2 others at their posts..i noe got some more hiding either in the carpark or other areas..the place is pretty heavily guarded hmmz..then i saw one of the workers on the rooftop n another walkin twds her from the other side of the buidling..hmmz,secret meetin..scandal?ur busted.

gtg for steve's chia class..oh how i wish i can really really miss the lesson..but i haf no reason to do so n i dunno wat to do durin the period of time when i'll b missin it since monkey finishes at 5..sianz..bloody sianz..

Plump n short SIti dashing off..* waddle waddle waddle *-.-!


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Thursday, February 03, 2005

12th October 1985

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Shit la,i haf a crush..its been like so long..way b4 i got myself attached n way b4 i meet my dear..way back in jc life was when i had my last crush..n now its coming again..shit,lemme duck!..
No worri,i noe myself best la..still loving my monkey the same ..its juz a crush..but shit,he's so damn innocently cute lookin la...note the word innocent..yah,i guessed i like tat kinda guy-look..tats y my monkey got the best look of all hahaha..

Ppl say its not gd to be crushin on others if ur attached..tat means ur not faithful or ur sick of the relationship..no worri,i noe its neither..Anyway,i tink thats quite bullshit,coz when he's cute he's cute get wat i mean..no amt of loyalty or luv will stop u from going 'he's cute'..argh shit he's cute..then again he reminded mi of a certain someone who asked for my number back in jc life..a certain someone whom i tot was cute also until i realised he's a playboy n walk ard wif 2 girls or more wif him..-.- Rich playboy,but emotional one..still, he remained the 'cute jerk' la..

Anyway,back to tis crush..*sighs*he's cute..very cute..both looks n personality wise ar..hmm,personality wise is act cute but nvm..goes around tinkin that girls think he's cute..dotz..but he is la *give up*..but when he goes all quiet n look at u wif that eyes,wah kaoz..he's damn cute la..n makes mi tink he has an other side which i will really like to noe more abt..IF I WAS single of course..He is one reason y i have not been helping out wif cleanin the dojo for 2 weeks ar coz he'll be there for sure ar..and then he'll know for sure that i'm crushin ..aiyah,he already told mi to my face 'eh,u think i'm cute right'..dotz..-.- yea,u are right,shuddup..*smiles*..Today,he caught mi lookin at him when training..shit la,i 'died' already..wats wif the fact he kena chosen by Sirch alot of times today also urgh..like givin mi more opportunities to look at him...All the while my monkey is outside waitin for mi..aww..i'm bad..but anyway,today's trainin is bad..all coz of one stupid 'ballerina' whu had to poke his nose into other ppl's business..>.<..

i'm a goner tonite..must wake up at 6 to help ma'am 2morrow b4 goin to sch..wah..i shall b a zombie for another day 2morrow..gdnitez la..i'm gone.

'Long time coming' 'den u look in my eyes n i have it all once again..its been a long time coming down tis road..n now i know wat i've been waitin for.. like a lonely highway i'm tryin to get home..love's been a long time coming...didnt noe i was lost till u found mi...didnt noe i was blind but now i see..'..

'Greatest story ever told'

'Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could've prayed for
There you are
If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand.
Tonight its you and I together
I'm so glad I'm your (girl)
And if I lived a thousand years
You know, I never could explain
The way I left my heart to you
That day. But if destiny decided
I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you tonight?'

thats juz parts of both songs..he finally responded..his response was 'too long la'..-.- *give up*..Pika!!n my heart goes da-dum-da-dum-pika-chuuuuu!PIKA!
*dreaming of my monkey*..Oh ya,mr.azhar saw monkey wif mi outside the staff room the other day..n he was like cranin his neck to hav a better look at him lik dat..o.O..wonder if he remembers monkey as the guy whom he poke fun at when monkey was cross-stitchin outside the classroom last semester..i still LOL when i remembered him commentin abt 'the guy who's cross-stictchin outside the classroom..-.-!

*hugs*


Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Wednesday, February 02, 2005

12th October 1985