Monday, March 07, 2005

as a friend,or as my dear..ur the one person dat can lift my heart when its in a state of despair..earlier on la..

like when the clock was strikin twelve,it was supposedly to be another of our monthly anniversary..but now its not,n maybe it'll never be anymore..7th of the month was to be our day..though sometimes i ended up too busy to spend time wif you,i always try to squeeze moments/secs juz so to say 'celebrate'..n the best thing is,you never forget like other guys..not even 5mins late..sweet right?

maybe its better this way..like we converse more..n we kid around more n not take each other that seriously as we haf done before..like now i'm insistin on callin u monkey,n u insist on mi addressin u by the name,which is so formal la..coz U R STILL A MONKEY TO Me..hee..hha,now i get it why u dont like to eat bananas..coz ur an EDUCATED monkey who prefers banana splits hhahaha..somehow u r not amused,n i replied i'm not a clown..n u said i said so myself..yea well,i didnt make u amused so does dat mean i failed as a clown?*grinz*..its fun when i can tease u n get away wif it coz u can no longer "whack" mi hha..but i tink u will la if i'm besides u now:P..anyway,i hope i made u smile,coz dats all i ever want to do..as ur gf,or as a friend..

ok,back to me n my writings..when i tink tat i'll feel sad n down n depressed n goes into mournin over losin the one dat i love so suddenly,i realised i shud look on the brighter side n see dat i've gained..a monkey instead!~though its hard to come to terms wif dat realisation after almost a year together n the fact tat we are so certain that we'll be together n get married one day to each other..n now,it may not happen..unless he has a change of mind and a change of heart..which i foolishly admit i am still hopin n waiting..

maybe he made me felt a little joyful dats y i'm feelin better now..but deep inside left a hollow feelin n the aftertaste of vomitin dat kind..its juz yucks ok..to know that there'll be no 'happily ever afters' and 'happy endings' for us when we've thought we've found 'the one' in each other..n though i believed he is still the one,reality has taught me that in life,you dont necessarily get to marry 'the one' or have fairytale endings..u jus haf to make do with who you have or who you end up marrying and convince urself that they may be the 'one' and not set yourself in delusions that 'the one' is waiting fervently for you Out there..FOr there is No 'out there' n there is no 'The one'..it must've been a misprint or a misplacement of puncuations as in 'the one' is actually the 'one' as in the 'one' u marry, n not 'the one'ur waitin for ur whole life..right?

like i said to shunuan earlier; 'are u sure he's havin illusions or is it Delusions instead'..we were talkin abt her bf who's also our ex-classmate n SP MR.SBM tis year -.-"..my sec4 class haf a total of 5 couples already la..thats like 1/4 of the class wah lauz..n its onli 1/2 of the class dat are still in regular meetings..mr yap,save us!!maybe mr.yap shud reserve his marriage money for us instead of himself wahaha..tats a mean thought hmz..i shall blog abt tis another day,i shall go n conk myself out now..lights out!~

Siti Nuraishah :+: Landed On :+: Monday, March 07, 2005

12th October 1985